A rock jam that captures the legendary terrible coffee that Chiefs make and drink - so strong it could strip with funny intensity.
Inspired By
The legendary terrible coffee that Chiefs make and drink - so strong it could strip paint, served in mugs that have never been washed, a sacred Navy tradition
This track comes from Aaron's military service — Air Force enlisted, Army Infantry officer, DoD civilian at SPAWAR/NIWC. It tackles The legendary terrible coffee that Chiefs make and drink - so strong it could strip paint, served in mugs that have never been washed, a sacred Navy tradition. The lyrics get specific — "The mug says World's Okayest Chief, it's never been washed" — because personal tracks on Majik's are personal for real, not performatively. The rock production matches the energy of the confession. It hits funny and affectionate, in that order. Every personal track in the catalogue comes from a real moment, a real feeling, a real person. This one is no exception.
[verse 1]
There's a pot in the Chief's Mess that hasn't been cleaned since ninety-three
The bottom's got more culture than a museum in D.C.
The coffee comes out black as the deep ocean floor
Thick as motor oil and you're always asking for more
Because it's not about the taste, it's about the tradition
Every Chief who drank from this pot made a commission
On the accumulated caffeine of a thousand watches stood
This coffee isn't good, it was never meant to be good
It's meant to keep you vertical when horizontal sounds amazing
Chief's coffee, simultaneously appraising and hazing
[chorus]
Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all
Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul
One sip and you'll see through time
Two sips and you'll solve any crime
Three sips and you'll never sleep again
Chief's coffee, amen
[verse 2]
The mug says World's Okayest Chief, it's never been washed
The stains inside are archaeological, completely embossed
With the history of every deployment since the first Gulf
If you cleaned it you'd remove the flavor, that's the whole wolf
In sheep's clothing situation, the dirt is the feature
The sediment at the bottom is a caffeinated preacher
Serving sermons about suffering through the overnight
Chief says drink up buttercup, this'll set you right
And somehow it does, despite every health code violation
Chief's coffee is the Navy's greatest innovation
[chorus]
Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all
Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul
One sip and you'll see through time
Two sips and you'll solve any crime
Three sips and you'll never sleep again
Chief's coffee, amen
[bridge]
I've had espresso in Italy, pour-overs in Portland
Single-origin small-batch from every hipster's court and
None of them, not a single one compares
To the battery acid served in the Chief's wares
Because the flavor isn't really caffeine
It's tradition, it's belonging, it's being seen
As someone worthy of the Chief's Mess cup
So drink up, sailor, bottoms up
[verse 3]
Now I'm a coffee snob in Charleston, I admit it
Pour-over, single-origin, freshly gritted
But sometimes late at night I make a pot the old way
Extra grounds, let it sit, don't pour the old away
Just add more on top like the Chiefs taught me
Layer the caffeine like sedimentary geology
My fancy friends say Aaron, this is criminal
I say this is historical, this is subliminal
Connection to the men and women who led me through
Chief's coffee, forever overdue
For a health inspection, but perfect in every way
That matters when the world goes grey
[chorus]
Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all
Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul
One sip and you'll see through time
Two sips and you'll solve any crime
Three sips and you'll never sleep again
Chief's coffee, amen, amen
[outro]
Another pot, Chief?
Always another pot
The Navy runs on this stuff
And so do I