Chief's Coffee

This track comes from Aaron's military service — Air Force enlisted, Army Infantry officer, DoD civilian at SPAWAR/NIWC. It tackles The legendary terrible coffee that Chiefs make and drink - so strong it could strip paint, served in mugs that have never been washed, a sacred Navy tradition. The lyrics get specific — "The mug says World's Okayest Chief, it's never been washed" — because personal tracks on Majik's are personal for real, not performatively. The rock production matches the energy of the confession. It hits funny and affectionate, in that order. Every personal track in the catalogue comes from a real moment, a real feeling, a real person. This one is no exception.

[verse 1] There's a pot in the Chief's Mess that hasn't been cleaned since ninety-three The bottom's got more culture than a museum in D.C. The coffee comes out black as the deep ocean floor Thick as motor oil and you're always asking for more Because it's not about the taste, it's about the tradition Every Chief who drank from this pot made a commission On the accumulated caffeine of a thousand watches stood This coffee isn't good, it was never meant to be good It's meant to keep you vertical when horizontal sounds amazing Chief's coffee, simultaneously appraising and hazing [chorus] Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul One sip and you'll see through time Two sips and you'll solve any crime Three sips and you'll never sleep again Chief's coffee, amen [verse 2] The mug says World's Okayest Chief, it's never been washed The stains inside are archaeological, completely embossed With the history of every deployment since the first Gulf If you cleaned it you'd remove the flavor, that's the whole wolf In sheep's clothing situation, the dirt is the feature The sediment at the bottom is a caffeinated preacher Serving sermons about suffering through the overnight Chief says drink up buttercup, this'll set you right And somehow it does, despite every health code violation Chief's coffee is the Navy's greatest innovation [chorus] Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul One sip and you'll see through time Two sips and you'll solve any crime Three sips and you'll never sleep again Chief's coffee, amen [bridge] I've had espresso in Italy, pour-overs in Portland Single-origin small-batch from every hipster's court and None of them, not a single one compares To the battery acid served in the Chief's wares Because the flavor isn't really caffeine It's tradition, it's belonging, it's being seen As someone worthy of the Chief's Mess cup So drink up, sailor, bottoms up [verse 3] Now I'm a coffee snob in Charleston, I admit it Pour-over, single-origin, freshly gritted But sometimes late at night I make a pot the old way Extra grounds, let it sit, don't pour the old away Just add more on top like the Chiefs taught me Layer the caffeine like sedimentary geology My fancy friends say Aaron, this is criminal I say this is historical, this is subliminal Connection to the men and women who led me through Chief's coffee, forever overdue For a health inspection, but perfect in every way That matters when the world goes grey [chorus] Chief's coffee, take it black or don't take it at all Chief's coffee, standing tall through the long haul One sip and you'll see through time Two sips and you'll solve any crime Three sips and you'll never sleep again Chief's coffee, amen, amen [outro] Another pot, Chief? Always another pot The Navy runs on this stuff And so do I