Civilian Clothes

This track comes from Aaron's military service — Air Force enlisted, Army Infantry officer, DoD civilian at SPAWAR/NIWC. It tackles The disorientation of wearing civilian clothes after years in uniform, finding your identity without the rank on your collar. The lyrics get specific — "First morning without a uniform in four years straight" — because personal tracks on Majik's are personal for real, not performatively. The indie production matches the energy of the confession. It hits vulnerable and transitional, in that order. Every personal track in the catalogue comes from a real moment, a real feeling, a real person. This one is no exception.

[verse 1] First morning without a uniform in four years straight Opened the closet and I just stood there, couldn't navigate A decision that had been made for me since I was eighteen Navy blue or Navy blue, the simplest routine Now there's options and the options feel like open ocean Without a chart, without a heading, without the motion Of a ship beneath my feet to tell me which way's north I'm standing in my boxers staring at a drawer of fourth Choices, fifth choices, too many civilian threads So I grabbed a plain blue t-shirt because my Navy head Said keep it simple, sailor, one step at a time [chorus] Civilian clothes, who am I without the rank Civilian clothes, an empty page, a blank Canvas where the uniform used to tell my story Civilian clothes, a different kind of glory And a different kind of terror, getting dressed Without the Navy telling me what's best Civilian clothes [verse 2] The uniform said everything before you spoke a word Rate, rank, years of service, every ribbon on the herd- ed chest told a story of where you'd been deployed Civilian clothes say nothing, and the void Is deafening, no one knows by looking at my shirt That I've stood watches in the places where it hurts To remember, no one sees the service in the polo I'm just another dude at Starbucks flying solo And that's fine, mostly, sometimes, on the good days On the bad days I miss the uniformed ways Of knowing exactly who you are by what you're wearing Civilian clothes require a different kind of bearing [chorus] Civilian clothes, who am I without the rank Civilian clothes, an empty page, a blank Canvas where the uniform used to tell my story Civilian clothes, a different kind of glory And a different kind of terror, getting dressed Without the Navy telling me what's best Civilian clothes [bridge] But here's what they don't tell you at the transition brief Civilian clothes are where you find your own belief In who you are without the structure and the starch The man beneath the uniform begins his march Toward something self-defined, self-designed The Hawaiian shirt becomes a state of mind The board shorts are a declaration That I'm more than my service, I'm a creation Of my own choosing, for the first time ever [verse 3] Now my closet's full of things the Navy me would hate Floral prints and sandals, nothing pressed or straight But every piece was chosen by the man I chose to be Not the rank, not the rate, just freely me Sometimes I wear a blazer when the startup needs a face Sometimes I'm barefoot on the beach in my happy place The uniform is in the closet, dress blues in the back But the civilian clothes up front tell a different track Of a sailor who became a founder, became a man Who dresses himself now, and finally can Look in the mirror without a rank to hide behind Civilian clothes, the uniform of a free mind [chorus] Civilian clothes, I know who I am without the rank Civilian clothes, no longer blank This canvas tells the story that I'm writing every day Civilian clothes, in the most beautiful way The terror's gone, replaced with something blessed Civilian clothes, I'm finally dressed As me [outro] No rank, no rate Just Aaron Just me And that's enough