Letters I Never Sent

This track comes from Aaron's military service — Air Force enlisted, Army Infantry officer, DoD civilian at SPAWAR/NIWC. It tackles The things you wanted to say to people back home but never could, the emotional distance that grows during deployment. The lyrics get specific — "But I wrote a paragraph about missing Sunday dinners" — because personal tracks on Majik's are personal for real, not performatively. The rock production matches the energy of the confession. It hits melancholic and introspective, in that order. Every personal track in the catalogue comes from a real moment, a real feeling, a real person. This one is no exception.

[verse 1] Dear Mom, I'm fine, the food is decent That's the lie I wrote in every letter recent Didn't mention how the nights get heavy Or how my hands don't always stay steady Dear brother, hold it down back home I know you got it, you don't need me on the phone But I wrote a paragraph about missing Sunday dinners Then I crumpled it because sailors aren't beginners At hiding what they feel behind a uniform pressed tight We iron the wrinkles out of everything in sight [chorus] Letters I never sent, words I never said Folded up and buried underneath my rack instead All the things I'm carrying that no one needs to know Letters I never sent from places I can't show They're stacking up like cargo in the hold below Letters I never sent, but I felt every word though [verse 2] Dear old friend, you wouldn't recognize me now Got calluses on places I can't talk about I've seen coordinates that don't exist on Google Maps And sunrises that fill in all the gaps Between who I was and who they're making me become Dear self, don't forget where you came from I wrote that on a napkin in the mess at oh-three-hundred Surrounded by the sleeping and the hundred-percent-committed We're all just kids who signed a paper Now we're someone's shield, someone's saber [chorus] Letters I never sent, words I never said Folded up and buried underneath my rack instead All the things I'm carrying that no one needs to know Letters I never sent from places I can't show They're stacking up like cargo in the hold below Letters I never sent, but I felt every word though [bridge] Maybe when I'm home I'll find the courage To open up the footlocker and sort through the wreckage Of everything I bottled up at sea And finally let somebody really see The man behind the rank and rate Before it gets too heavy, before it gets too late [verse 3] Dear future me, I hope you kept these pages Evidence of who you were through all the stages From boot camp kid to weathered sailor's eyes The truth lives in the letters, not the lies So here's the last one, written pulling into port Dear everyone, I'm home, but I'm a different sort The boy who left is buried in the wake The man who's back has more than he can take But I'll unpack it slow, one letter at a time And maybe find the words I couldn't find [chorus] Letters I never sent, words I never said Folded up and buried underneath my rack instead All the things I'm carrying that no one needs to know Letters I never sent from places I can't show They're stacking up like cargo in the hold below Letters I never sent, but I felt every word though [outro] Dear anyone who's listening This is every letter I never sent Finally finding air